How did I measure my abusive life?

When I look at my abusive life as I knew it to be, was I feeling some guilt that ran throug me?

“NO” I  din’t because there is no feelings that I did anything wrong. 

I was hurting people before they hurt me!!

Life in my abusive relationship was often looked upon how much pain we had or how many objects we throw  at each other. Our life in a moment of silence upon the movement in this world.

Finding that painful moment in life was the most important feeling, also is to be truthful unhappy with oneself that I was seeking.