Taking Responsibility Of Your Toxic Marriage

7 Tips in taking responsibility for your marriage

If you want to know whether you take responsibility for your life, read the following 7 points and ask yourself honestly ‘Do I apply this principle in my life’?

1- Knowing who you want to be in a marriage

A successful and happy marriage requires love within oneself. You need to know the person that you wish to be and what is important to you. Clear Purpose and Values will guide your decision-making and empower you to prioritise and focus on the important matters.

 2- Knowing what you want in a healthy marriage

When you know what you want from life, you can take responsibility for each decision and action that you take. These decisions can be based on their ability to help you move closer to the life you want. You set effective goals and you pursue them.

 3- Stop blaming your spouse

Blaming your life partner is the easy way out and it is a trap that we all fall into. But, when you blame your partner what you are really doing is stating that you are incapable of rectifying the situation. When something goes wrong, blaming others strips you of your power but when you take responsibility; your primary focus is to identify what went wrong so that you can rectify it. Even if somebody else screwed up; remember the following:

  • It’s unlikely that they deliberately screwed up
  • You are probably the person who asked them to perform the task
  • You could have checked beforehand whether they could do what was asked of them
  • Most importantly, throwing around blame will not solve the problem that has happened

To rectify a problem, you need to take responsibility, identify what went wrong, determine what you can do differently next time and, put your plan into action. If you need to tell somebody else that their performance needs to improve, tell the truth approach. Choose to empower with the truth rather than attack.

 4- Are you blaming yourself for the actions

Just because you are not going to blame others; it does not mean that you should blame yourself. Let me be clear, whether you blame others or you blame yourself, blame weakens those involved and blocks your rational thought and creativity. You do not need to punish someone; you need to solve a problem. Take responsibility for the situation, identify the changes you need to make and make them.

 5- Being honest with yourself no matter what

In order to take responsibility for your life, you must first give up all of the excuses. You know those old stories that you pass off as facts of life so that you do not even try to make the necessary changes, e.g.:

  • I’m too old
  • I’m too young
  • I’m too busy
  • I can’t be loved
  • Those things don’t happen for people like me

There are many more examples which I could give but I am sure that you get the point. Cut the excuses; cut the B.S.; take responsibility for your life and make the changes which you would really like to make.

 6- Recognizing that you benefit from the Status quo in a marriage

If something in your marriage needs to change but you are not changing it; you are benefiting from the situation in some way. You could easily come up with excuses but when you take responsibility, you identify the ways in which you are benefiting from the current situation and then you attempt to maintain those benefits even after you have made the necessary changes.

For example, if you were spending too much time drinking alcohol down the pub, you would first examine what the benefits were. If you realised that the benefits were that you enjoyed socialising with your friends, you could choose to organise social events in a different environment e.g. dinner parties, theatre, cinema etc. This would greatly increase your chances of successfully changing your habits around drinking. However, if you fail to acknowledge and recognise the benefits, your chances of success are greatly diminished.

 7- Knowing you have choices within your life

Of all the silly stories that we tell ourselves, perhaps the silliest of them all is that ‘I had no choice’. When we do something that we regret or that we know that we really should not have done, we pull out this beauty of an excuse.  We think that it absolves us of all responsibility for the outcomes of our decisions.

Regardless of the situations, there is always a choices. It may be an unpleasant choice, and it may feel as though there is no realistic alternative but you do have to make a choice. The most effective people take responsibility for their choices and are willing to stand by them; even if it makes them unpopular.

Taking responsibility starts with a clear sense of purpose. Discover your purpose within your marriage.

If you want to create a happy, health and successful marriage, you need to take responsibility. To take responsibility is not a single action. You need to take responsibility for each and every decision that you make in your life; the things you choose to do and the things you choose not to do. There is nothing wrong with dreaming of a better marriage, in fact, visualisation can be a powerful tool but unless you take responsibility and take action, that better life will never be anything more than a hope and a dream.

How to throw out your abusive partner…

The hard way to get rid of your abusive partner is…

1. Change the locks on the door!

2. Call the police and let them deal with it!

3. Get your family involved in the situation!

4. Call a lawyer for advise!

5. Stop talking to your partner!

These are just some of the hard ways to get rid of a abusive partner. 

The most simplest way to get out is…

1. Open your door to the possibilities of love that is within your heart.

2. Work with a expert about your situations in your life.

3. Talk to your partner about your feelings that are creating your pains within.

4. Ask yourself why are these pains deep within me.

5. Love yourself with words deep within.

The thoughts that are around us are creating the situations in front of us and moving them towards the future and beyond.

Start caring for yourself and say (I LOVE YOU) To yourself!!

Sincerely

Stefan Neff

Thank You Life 101

 

 

 

How do we deal with the feelings of abuse in our lives…

Why do we plug our ears and do nothing about our abusive partner? 

The reaction of fear from abuse is a defensive mechanism built into our internal make up. Why?

The fear of being alone is a strong thought that is within our mind! Why?

This is often the seasons why we do nothing about the situation that is in front of us! Why?

The abusive partner wants you to feel fear, because “He or She” is afraid of loosing the control over his or her partner! Why is this?

Humans are driven by the feelings of fear in this world!

The Six Basic Fears 

1. Fear of Poverty

2. Fear of Criticism

3. Fear of ill Health

4. Fear of Lose of Love 

5. Fear of Old Age

6. Fear of Death

These fears are holding us back from true happiness in our lives, around the world today!

We are starting to create a new thought provoking change about fears that has shifted the human species “NOW”!!

We all can bring awareness to the world with love and compassion to our lives starting today!!